An addiction to sex can be experienced in several different ways. These can range from excessive use of pornography, compulsive urges to have sex or masturbate and exhibitionism or voyeurism.

What makes them different to having a healthy interest in sex is that they are destructive and have unwanted effects on relationships, work life or physical health. The drive to perform these behaviours is overwhelming to the detriment of other important things in your life. The decisions and actions taken as a result of these urges can have a negative consequence, such as breakdown of a relationship. You continue to engage in these negative behaviours even though you are aware that they are harmful to yourself or others.

  • Persistent and intrusive thoughts about sex
  • Unsafe sex with multiple partners
  • Inability to remain in a monogamous relationship
  • Feelings of guilt, shame or disgust after acting on sexual urges
  • Spending too much time watching pornography or masturbating
  • Feeling unable to stop/reduce this behaviour despite experiencing negative consequences
  • Other addictive behaviours-gambling, substance misuse, alcohol excess
  •  Difficulties in friendships or relationships
  • Separation or divorce
  • Sexually Transmitted Infections
  • Unwanted pregnancy
  • Legal problems following exhibitionist behaviours
  • Decrease in ability to concentrate or reduced productivity at work
  • Loss of job

The mainstay of healing any type of sexual addiction is to identify the underlying feelings that are driving this behaviour and looking at ways of learning healthier ways of coping with them. Sex Addicts Anonymous, which is a 12 step programme, can be a helpful tool in maintaining recovery.

The reason why it is difficult to stop  these negative behaviours is because they are being rewarded by surges in a brain chemical called Dopamine. Dopamine release results in the experience of pleasure or euphoria. Each time you engage in this behaviour you are rewarded with feeling good (initially), which results in a vicious circle and the urge to repeat the sexual addiction, despite negative consequences.

This mechanism is behind all addictive behaviours. It is estimated that 40-60% of those with a sexual addiction have had an alcohol or substance abuse problem.

I understand it can be difficult to speak to someone about any sexual problem. Please be reassured that I provide a safe and confidential space for you to talk.

If you are unsure if I can help with a problem you are experiencing, please e-mail me at enquiries@spg.scot, which is an encrypted e-mail, to discuss further.